Some of you may remember that the Czarina resolved to try new and exotic foods this year:

Resolution the FIFTH: I will try something I wouldn’t otherwise try this year. Maybe blowfish, or perhaps unagi.

I suppose you can see where this is going already.

But, in an attempt to string you along, I thought I would talk a bit about Sushi Yasuda, the restaurant at which the drama unfolded. We gave the sushi chefs free rein to give us whatever they felt moved to give us, with only a couple of exceptions. The Czar doesn’t like eel (unagi), and blowfish is illegal in the US, so that was out.

Follow up:

Duchess and Duke J ordered a seaweed salad, which they loved. It consisted of six different kinds of seaweed. Not only was it pretty, but it was educational. I didn’t know there was such a thing as white seaweed, and apparently every type had a unique taste. Our favorite royal couple hovered over it protectively, so I don’t know and I have to guess how good it was from their reactions, the bastards!

The chef first sends over a slate tile full of sashimi, which was fabulous. The Tazmanian trout was awesome. The tile was empty within five minutes.

Then the waitress arrived with the Plate o’ Death.

Again, a very nicely arranged tile of sushi boats across the river Styx, and they had included one maki roll. There were only two pieces of uni (the sea urchin), and Duchess J had one. I had the other, and it was only one and a half bites large.

Within a few minutes my throat started to constrict. I couldn’t breathe well, although I could still talk. Since I know how to do the Heimlich (I really need to renew my certification), I was dimly aware through not a little bit of panic that since I could still talk I wasn’t really in danger of being dead, but the question was: would it get worse?

The Czar (I love you, honey!) bolted from the table to ask the staff if they had any Benadryl® or other antihistimine. They looked at him blankly and obviously said no because he was out the door looking for a Duane Reade. Duchess J tried to keep me from losing my mind in panic, which did help. The rest of us waited to see what the damage would be as we batted around the idea of calling 911 interspersed with jokes about jabbing me in the chest with a non-existent Epipen®.

Now, I had absolutely no idea at which hospital I would end up if we did call 911, and my only frame of reference was an old hospital on Roosevelt Island at which I had interviewed for an internship. That was one scary place, I’ll tell you that; if you were writing a post-apocalyptic zombie movie, this would be the place for you to get those good shots.

…This is all besides the point that by the time the EMTs got there anyway, I’d be in a world of hurt if the worst was going to happen. The Czar arrived seemingly 800 years later with Benadryl.

So, we waited some more, and luckily my throat started to open up again. I came out on the other end none the worse for wear, besides getting a good scare. I also obtained the additional benefits of having both a new item to put in my medical record and a new way for my husband to kill me for my non-existent money and/or to discharge my student loans (did I tell you, my dear Czar, how much I loooooove you?). But then again, maybe I’m watching too much CSI. Right? Right? Honey?!!

The moral of the story appears to be that self-improvement can kill you. But I stubbornly refuse to learn that, so I think the true moral of the story is that New York sucks.

I’m just kidding. I had a good time in New York and I do like it, especially the shopping. And the food at Sushi Yasuda was excellent, and the architecture of the place was very pretty, although it was a bit bright in there for me. The fish was fresh and light. I give the overall experience an A-, not including the choking. APPARENTLY, the seaweed salad is good. Bastards. Order the cold dry sake, and make sure you request the bar when you make the reservation.

I’m just hoping New Yorkers’ New Year’s resolution wasn’t to get rid of tourists. Although… they are welcome to try to get rid of that rude Frenchman in that lunch cafe who seemed to believe that having three wives is an optimal arrangement for men in any country. Hey, Dude, I have a plate of uni for you to sample. Try it, you’ll like it! I promise! *grins evilly*

SUSHI YASUDA
204 E. 43rd St.
New York, NY
212-972-1001
www.sushiyasuda.com